But I am not scared enough to care.
I was raised and educated to be employed. It never crossed my mind to become an entrepreneur. Not even when I had finished all my studies and moved to Kenya. I was sure I’d find a job.
Of course I didn’t. I didn’t try hard enough and during the two interviews I was invited to it became clear that they weren’t looking for me. They were looking for an ideal person whom I am not willing to try to be.
I want to be me and I want to do exactly and only the things I consider to be right. That sounds like an entrepreneur – I just didn’t know. I found out only three months ago.
So I did some soul searching, finding my purpose, planning the year, setting goals and so on. I want to build a business from scratch without any knowledge whatsoever on how to do it. I am willing to work my butt off. But I realised, for a while I will continue feeding on the buffer I have saved. And I am slowly running out of it.
The problem is, I never had to earn money before. I used to live on government support for studies, or on a scholarship. Now all these bonuses are gone. I am considered to be a real grown up now, equipped and prepared for the evil outside world out there. Which is, honestly speaking, not at all the case.
I am expected to behave like that grown up. But I don’t want. I don’t want to have to handle insurances and pension options and all that paper stuff.
So here is the deal: Yes, I will build a business from scratch. Without knowing anything. But I am also starting to reach out.
You know how smart people always tell you to focus on only one thing at a time and let go of the rest? Not me! I incubated myself the last six months with online courses and facebook communities – now it’s time to go out and expose myself.
I am involving myself in numerous projects which I will write about here. They involve teaching, leading, marketing and other stuff.
None of my studies prepared me for those things. And none of them will pay me any time soon. But I think they are right and necessary. I truly believe in these things and that is why I want to do them. And I believe I am going to learn more about myself than I ever did before.
I almost wanted to quit writing here after Christmas and focus completely on my business which is not yet in existence. But then I remembered YOU!
Will you join me for the journey? Do you have any advice for a madwoman like me? (Apart from: This sounds insane, you are not going to make it anyway!) Let me know in the comments and share your experience.